How to Deal With People That Talking Behind Our Back
“Ghibah” or gossiping has been obvious problem that exist. But how to deal with that?
I think that our topic right now is already obvious for all of us.
Its obvious the moment we felt uncomfortable simply because we know some of our friends, or even our enemy talking us behind our back. Like we will start to think like “ what is my fault?” or even “why they dont tell it infront of me” or etc. Starting to questioning a lot of things that actually not important.
But if we look deep inside, why they actually have a tendency to do that?
The main tendency are just two:
- Its because of their problem
- Its because of your problem
What does its actually means?
1. Its because of their problems
Means that they talking you behind your back simply because they want to. They want to talking about your rumors, make your image as bad as they can when they talking you with another people, or even they were just haters at the very first place so its obvious for that people to always talk sh*t about you. Like what you do will just ended up to be bad things in their mind even when you do a good things. Hate and hate is only things that remain in their mind if its about you. Its actually their problems not yours.
So how to deal with that?
-If this people is actually not your friend, what you have to do with that is just let it be. I mean in this world not everyone will always like you all the time and you don’t have to always make sure that they will always love you so its ok to let it be. Just focus on your carrer, your works, your educational schedule until you are success enough so they can shut their mouth up simply because they stagnant in their stage talking about another people while you are always improve your self. Just give a zero fu*k for them and focus on your development.
-If this people is your friend, what you have to do is to directly cut off your connection with that person. You actually don’t need those people in your life. Its really ok to decrease the amount of your circle member but increase the value of your circle per say. If you keep those person in your life more over it’ll just make you confuse and questioning your self over and over even actually you don’t do bad things. What will happen when you keep questioning your self is you can lead into endless loop insecurities that actually not important. Your physichological condition matters, and you dont have to spare time to do some unimportant business like maintaining everyone’s mouth.
2. Its because of your problem
We are human. We are imperfect. And we can’t deny that in many times we did some fault that impact another people. Maybe like as simple as our words that hurt them, our act that make them fed up with you, or even another minor or major act that you do in the past. Sometimes even our small act from us that we things are just a joke or unimportant act can make them don’t want to have connection anymore with you. Shows to you that we have to always careful to our words and act because maybe it can hurt certain people. Or you have personality that can annoy everyone.
Or even coming from another reason like you have some problem with certain people with important case. Like maybe girl/boy friend problems, fake friendship, circle domination, or etc. This usually being the main reason why they talking about you.
So how to deal with that?
Its already clear that you have to setlle that problem. You must face it and you can’t run away with that. What you have to do is just make an appointment with that people and tell them there is something that you want to discuss. There you can say sorry because of your fault and discussing what you can do next to make things better. Because it is your fault, surely you have responsibility to settle it off. You have to make your problem as clear as possible. Tell them what you want to tell to make the problem clear and no matter what kind of awkwardness that will come.
The main conclusion in this article is you have to be firm. You have to be firm and brave to do all those things above. You have to be firm to dont care with another’s people tought about you, you have to be firm to cut off some of your friends even it ended up decrease the number of your friend, and you have to be brave to admit your fault in front of that people. Trust me, firm and braveness is the key for this “talking behind back” problems.
So are you firm and brave enough to settle?
